Family
Seminar
Jay
Adams, Nouthetic (admonish, warn, instruct; 2 Tim.
3:16, 2 Pet. 1:3) Counseling, all non-organic problems are hamartiagenic.
Use
integration in counseling (because all truth is God’s truth)
Most
people spend more time planning their wedding than they do their marriage; use
God’s manual for life; unbelievers can benefit.
Gen.
2:24 (law of first mention): A man shall
leave his mother and father and cleave unto his wife, and the two shall be one
flesh (emotionally, physically, mentally; three types of relationship);
children were not yet created, yet God said “It is good.”--this points to the
fact that the Husband-Wife relationship is most important in home, not the
Parental relationship (airlines want the parents to don masks first).
Marriage
representative of God and Israel/Christ and the Church
Selfishness
is what usually breaks up a marriage (Dating and Marriage bank; the Good Wife);
men like to conquer and move on (be a challenge to him); 7 problem areas: sex, 1 Cor. 7:4-5 (a Man’s guide to Women; My wife said, “You’re not supposed to understand me!”)
Bridegroom
exempt from 1 year of military service (Dt. 24:5)
2 Cor.
6:14, not unequally yoked; but, 1 Cor. 7:12-16 and 1 Pet. 3:1
Eph.
5:22-24, The man should love his wife as Christ loved the church (a woman wants
to know her husband sacrifices things on her behalf; he ought to make a big
deal out of things she is interested in; he ought to remember special dates—the
best way for a husband to remember his wife’s birthday: forget it once) and the woman should submit
to her husband (hupotasso); Three styles of
leadership: Authoritarian, Passive, and
Authoritative; Power struggle, Gen. 3:16/4:7; God’s four institutions each have
a leader; 1 Pet. 3:7, the success of a marriage falls on the shoulder of the
husband (he has the responsibility)—giving honor to the wife may imply a great
deal of humility and self-sacrifice; in any marriage over five years, almost
any problem can be attributed to something either the husband is doing or not
doing.
1 Cor.
7:32-33, A wife needs a man who is the spiritual
leader (Gen. 18:19); she will follow him anywhere; women are responders
1Cor.
13 (action words); Romance is passive; 5 Love Languages
Communication: Pr. 15:1/18:19; use “I” statements, do not
say “always” or “never”, cool off before communicating, no “strong silent
types” are permitted, use speaker/listener technique, know/say/get what you
want.
Admire
your husband; people are attracted to those who admire them, and repelled by those
who belittle them
God
gave children to you for a short period to train them up—He trusts you to do
that
Be an
example; 1 Kings 2:3, positive; Gen. 13:10-11 and 19:12, negative
Born
with a sin nature, selfish; must be saved later (2 Sam. 12:23; Jon. 4:11; Dt.
1:39)
Dt.
11:18-20, taught the Word of God; “Give us a child until the age of 6, and
we’ll have him for life”; theological sieve work
Discipline
(Dt. 21:18-21, we don’t do that today; B. F. Skinner, behaviorist: “Behavior which achieves desirable results is
more likely to recur”; we set new standards all the time); Prov. 13:24, 19:18,
22:6, 22:15, 23:13-14, 29:15
Never give a command unless you intend
for it to be obeyed
Provide a warning
Provide choices
Make punishment realistic to the world
we know
Be consistent
p. 219 in GKGW, chastisement
Why
chastisement sometimes fails to work
Parents use the wrong instrument (the
rod should be somewhat flexible, not stiff or unbending)
Parents swat hard enough to get the
child upset, but not hard enough to outweigh the pleasure of sin
Parents chastise through clothing that
is too thick
Parents talk too much, hoping to
persuade by logic
Parents are inconsistent
Parents fail to establish clear
boundaries (but children crave structure and boundaries—it is there they feel
safe)
Parents are afraid the child will not
love them
Children always ask the question, “Who is in charge?”; kids become “Mommy deaf”